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Given by Morbid-T3mptation
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We put him down this morning at 11 35. It was absolutely the hardest thing I have ever done. I miss him so fucking much. He took a turn for the worse this morning so I called up my mum to come home from work so we could end his suffering as soon as possible. About a year ago, because of his failing heart, a blood clot paralyzed his back legs and we were sure that was going to be the end of him. Everywhere I read online it said this was an almost certainly fatal condition for a cat. But nope, he defied the odds he got better and was able to move his legs a bit more every day. It was hard though, he became so restless, meowing all the time and panicking for about 3 nights straight, but he got better. And after a few weeks he was back to his normal playful self.

This morning out of nowhere that same thing happened to him on top of the coughing and shortness of breath and weak muscles. It was too much and i couldn't keep him calm, he was not going to eat or drink. Today had to be the end. As i was struggling to hold him while making a call to the vet right after he bit though my finger, I felt rather complacent about the idea of it. It was too painful to see him like that.

It still hasn't hit me, I just got home and don't know what to do, nothing feels right. The house is dead quiet and for the first time in 19 years I'm completely alone in it. I can't even think straight I want to burst out into tears but knowing he's not around to hear me and knowing he's not anywhere it feels strange. I'm glad he's been put to rest, he deserved to go in a decent way, he deserved everything.

Good bye buddy.
Tonight I was talking with my mum about when we are going to take my cat Jinx to the vet for the last time. We've had since I was in grade 3. He's 19 years old. He's been slowing down a little by little in the recent year or so. Slower to go up the stairs, sleeping more etc. I thought he would just continue along that slope for another good while, I'd almost thought he would never get to that point at which we were considering his final days, the concept of it was inconceivable. But here we are. These are his final days, and after tonight I now know exactly how much longer he has.

I don't recall when i first noticed it but he has been coughing for 3 maybe 4 weeks now, for a while I thought they were hairballs but he's never really done that before. I searched online for what feline coughing looked like and sure enough it was exactly what he was doing. Then it got worse, in the span of a few days he went from a relatively normal routine of going outside in the mornings, buming around inside for a bit, sleeping, eating,  to where he is now with so little strength and no appetite. He'll only eat a few bites of wet food every couple hours IF we encourage him. Worst of all I don't know if he's in pain. As I'm writing this he's laying next to me but he never seems to be completely comfortable. He seemed to be awake all last night, at least every time I checked on him.

I'm just torn up, the thought taking him away from home for the last time is unbearable. I can't imagine what life will be like knowing he's not there and it's bloody heartbreaking to think of it.

It's impossible to forget though, he's been absolutely the best pet you could ever ask for. He's given us so much and I know we've given him a great home. I can't complain about one bit. It just sucks beyond all belief to know it's all going to an end in a few days.
Study Asian chick by ricochet188
Study Asian chick
This didn't come out terribly well. I had a horrible workding day yesterday, unable to make anything worthwhile. So I did this in about 2 hours maybe.
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Study Squatterman by ricochet188
Study Squatterman
This is just some quicky lighting practice. I glanced at some pictures on the interwebs but most was from memory. I found this really helpful!
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We put him down this morning at 11 35. It was absolutely the hardest thing I have ever done. I miss him so fucking much. He took a turn for the worse this morning so I called up my mum to come home from work so we could end his suffering as soon as possible. About a year ago, because of his failing heart, a blood clot paralyzed his back legs and we were sure that was going to be the end of him. Everywhere I read online it said this was an almost certainly fatal condition for a cat. But nope, he defied the odds he got better and was able to move his legs a bit more every day. It was hard though, he became so restless, meowing all the time and panicking for about 3 nights straight, but he got better. And after a few weeks he was back to his normal playful self.

This morning out of nowhere that same thing happened to him on top of the coughing and shortness of breath and weak muscles. It was too much and i couldn't keep him calm, he was not going to eat or drink. Today had to be the end. As i was struggling to hold him while making a call to the vet right after he bit though my finger, I felt rather complacent about the idea of it. It was too painful to see him like that.

It still hasn't hit me, I just got home and don't know what to do, nothing feels right. The house is dead quiet and for the first time in 19 years I'm completely alone in it. I can't even think straight I want to burst out into tears but knowing he's not around to hear me and knowing he's not anywhere it feels strange. I'm glad he's been put to rest, he deserved to go in a decent way, he deserved everything.

Good bye buddy.

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:iconchimpira:
CHIMPIRA Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
fantastic work
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:iconpandaonda:
PandaOnDA Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014
Breathtaking !!!
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:iconyokkishai:
Yokkishai Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Your skills are amazing! I hope one day I'll learn to draw like this too
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:iconjordanschwagerart:
JordanSchwagerArt Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
I have to say man I love the intricacy of your story work and the illustration you make for it. It does make me wonder if you plan on publishing a novel coupling the stories together with their respective illustrations. With a few more pages of story for some of the illustrative works I can imagine a mind blowing anthology book. If this should ever happen to be the case please let me know I would love to see more of your work and the words behind them. 
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:iconjeenxd:
jeenxd Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2014
love the stories behind your work. you're amazing (:
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:iconcarmorafael:
carmorafael Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2014  Student Interface Designer
You got skills!
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:iconferalwings:
FeralWings Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Very lovely work man! Absolutely impressed by those dragons, and just the whole.
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:iconbreaistheworldshero:
Breaistheworldshero Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I love you so much~ your art is amazing
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