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Deviant for 7 Years
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Given by Morbid-T3mptation
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We put him down this morning at 11 35. It was absolutely the hardest thing I have ever done. I miss him so fucking much. He took a turn for the worse this morning so I called up my mum to come home from work so we could end his suffering as soon as possible. About a year ago, because of his failing heart, a blood clot paralyzed his back legs and we were sure that was going to be the end of him. Everywhere I read online it said this was an almost certainly fatal condition for a cat. But nope, he defied the odds he got better and was able to move his legs a bit more every day. It was hard though, he became so restless, meowing all the time and panicking for about 3 nights straight, but he got better. And after a few weeks he was back to his normal playful self.

This morning out of nowhere that same thing happened to him on top of the coughing and shortness of breath and weak muscles. It was too much and i couldn't keep him calm, he was not going to eat or drink. Today had to be the end. As i was struggling to hold him while making a call to the vet right after he bit though my finger, I felt rather complacent about the idea of it. It was too painful to see him like that.

It still hasn't hit me, I just got home and don't know what to do, nothing feels right. The house is dead quiet and for the first time in 19 years I'm completely alone in it. I can't even think straight I want to burst out into tears but knowing he's not around to hear me and knowing he's not anywhere it feels strange. I'm glad he's been put to rest, he deserved to go in a decent way, he deserved everything.

Good bye buddy.
Tonight I was talking with my mum about when we are going to take my cat Jinx to the vet for the last time. We've had since I was in grade 3. He's 19 years old. He's been slowing down a little by little in the recent year or so. Slower to go up the stairs, sleeping more etc. I thought he would just continue along that slope for another good while, I'd almost thought he would never get to that point at which we were considering his final days, the concept of it was inconceivable. But here we are. These are his final days, and after tonight I now know exactly how much longer he has.

I don't recall when i first noticed it but he has been coughing for 3 maybe 4 weeks now, for a while I thought they were hairballs but he's never really done that before. I searched online for what feline coughing looked like and sure enough it was exactly what he was doing. Then it got worse, in the span of a few days he went from a relatively normal routine of going outside in the mornings, buming around inside for a bit, sleeping, eating,  to where he is now with so little strength and no appetite. He'll only eat a few bites of wet food every couple hours IF we encourage him. Worst of all I don't know if he's in pain. As I'm writing this he's laying next to me but he never seems to be completely comfortable. He seemed to be awake all last night, at least every time I checked on him.

I'm just torn up, the thought taking him away from home for the last time is unbearable. I can't imagine what life will be like knowing he's not there and it's bloody heartbreaking to think of it.

It's impossible to forget though, he's been absolutely the best pet you could ever ask for. He's given us so much and I know we've given him a great home. I can't complain about one bit. It just sucks beyond all belief to know it's all going to an end in a few days.
Study Asian chick by ricochet188
Study Asian chick
This didn't come out terribly well. I had a horrible workding day yesterday, unable to make anything worthwhile. So I did this in about 2 hours maybe.
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Study Squatterman by ricochet188
Study Squatterman
This is just some quicky lighting practice. I glanced at some pictures on the interwebs but most was from memory. I found this really helpful!
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We put him down this morning at 11 35. It was absolutely the hardest thing I have ever done. I miss him so fucking much. He took a turn for the worse this morning so I called up my mum to come home from work so we could end his suffering as soon as possible. About a year ago, because of his failing heart, a blood clot paralyzed his back legs and we were sure that was going to be the end of him. Everywhere I read online it said this was an almost certainly fatal condition for a cat. But nope, he defied the odds he got better and was able to move his legs a bit more every day. It was hard though, he became so restless, meowing all the time and panicking for about 3 nights straight, but he got better. And after a few weeks he was back to his normal playful self.

This morning out of nowhere that same thing happened to him on top of the coughing and shortness of breath and weak muscles. It was too much and i couldn't keep him calm, he was not going to eat or drink. Today had to be the end. As i was struggling to hold him while making a call to the vet right after he bit though my finger, I felt rather complacent about the idea of it. It was too painful to see him like that.

It still hasn't hit me, I just got home and don't know what to do, nothing feels right. The house is dead quiet and for the first time in 19 years I'm completely alone in it. I can't even think straight I want to burst out into tears but knowing he's not around to hear me and knowing he's not anywhere it feels strange. I'm glad he's been put to rest, he deserved to go in a decent way, he deserved everything.

Good bye buddy.

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:icontane-p:
Tane-P Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I JUST SAW A LAPSE OF MEMORY PAINTED ON GRANVILLE STR AND IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO CONNECT THE DOTS BUT I KNEW THIS SHIT WAS FAMILIAR AND DAMN ITS YOU AND I AM SO HAPPY AND SO HONORED TO SEE YOUR WORK IN PERSON OMG.

That is all.
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:iconricochet188:
ricochet188 Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yup, that's been up there for about a year and a half now I think. It's really weird walking by it.
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:iconrubahduck:
rubahduck Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2014  New member Student Traditional Artist
I'm in love with your work so much, you have spectacular composition and an amazing and unique style that I don't see too often but i'm in love with it! I just can't get enough of your work! xD
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:iconpeepook:
Peepook Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2014  Student General Artist
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:iconricochet188:
ricochet188 Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i scared
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:iconrainbowmarimo:
RainbowMarimo Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I like how you wrote "I am a male/Turkey" because it could be implied (other than the fact that you are a male from Turkey) that you are a male OR a turkey ( as in the animal XD)
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:iconwar4yourmind:
war4yourmind Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014
<3 ur webcam, hahahaha
(Not to mention, your art!)
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:iconthedancingpencil:
thedancingpencil Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014  New member Hobbyist Traditional Artist
you're so talented I'm in love with the way you draw! looking forward to seeing more great artworks from you (: keep it up!
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:iconloraali:
LoraAli Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014
You have amazing profile, I love it.
Great work. Love Love 
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:iconthedarkphoenixqueen:
TheDarkPhoenixQueen Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I truly love your artwork. Your pictures all seem to hold such a deep story that makes me take an entire minute or more to analyse and when I see the said story, it always makes me smile. Keep up the beautiful and fantastic work, buddy. You shall do wonders in your near future.
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